Hey guys! Sorry for not posting in so long…I’ve been really busy with school and things. (BTW, I just updated my favorite songs page!)
I’ve recently been feeling a bit jaded. I went to church camp for a week back in April and now that the hype isn’t there to keep me enthusiastic, I’ve kind of just gone through the motions. I haven’t really been praying recently, and my Bible reading has become very routine. I stopped seeking new things from God and instead settled for the ordinary.
It amazes me how one can be going so steadily upwards and then all of a sudden just drop off a precipice. I was seeking God with my whole heart, praying really powerful prayers, and hearing Him speak left and right. Jesus was my passion, and I had a fire that I wanted to share with the world.
But one day, that joy vanished. I now just go through the motions…. jaded…. apathetic…. lukewarm. Nothing special.
This past week has been especially hard, and there’s no doubt that it was because I stopped seeking God’s help and guidance. He says in His Word the He resists the proud.
I messed up a lot. I got upset and angry and depressed. God felt really distant, and all I wanted to do was run in the opposite direction. I never used to understand how a strong Christian could all of a sudden walk away from God, but let me just say that after this week I understand completely.
Judas Iscariot and Peter both denied Jesus, but they ended up going down very different paths afterwards because of how they chose to deal with their disobedience. Judas felt so guilty that he committed suicide. But Peter felt convicted and wept because of his mistake. He accepted Jesus’ forgiveness and went on to be a great preacher of the gospel and a pivotal player in the early church. They both messed up, but one succumbed to the pressure of guilt while the other yielded to godly conviction.
We all mess up here and there, but how we choose to deal with it can change our lives. I pray that we never walk away from God no matter what, but that we instead pick ourselves back up and run into His open arms. Don’t let your guilt, your shame, your regrets get the best of you. God says that nothing you do is beyond forgiveness; you are never too far gone.
The Father stands with His arms wide open, ready to welcome you home whenever you’re ready. Don’t wait until it’s too late.