Not A Solo Girl (Original Christian Song)

Have you ever felt alone? Isolated? Misunderstood? Even if you’re constantly surrounded by others at school, work, or elsewhere, it’s so easy to feel like you’re on an island. You can see the people, but one step towards them leaves you wet, cold, and scrambling back onto the sand.

Sometimes there’s internal conflict about wanting to be known. We want to be seen, understood, loved, and accepted for who we are. But maybe we’re not proud of who we are. So we isolate ourselves for a short time and try to fix our imperfections, but meanwhile every one else has these great highlight reels that leave us retreating further and further into the shadows and lies. Once the devil has made you believe you’re not good enough and that no one will ever truly love you for who you are, that’s when he’s happiest. He knows how hard it is to leave the darkness once you’re there.

But please listen to me…you don’t have to do life alone! There is no such thing as a “lone Christian”–as my pastor pointed out, it’s an oxymoron. “Christian” means “little Christ” and Christ was all about people. Following Him–truly following Him–will never take you to a place of complete isolation. He will lead you to people because He loves people. And He loves you.

It’s not a sin to be a Christian introvert. He made you that way and it’s ok to need some time to yourself. But too much time with your own thoughts can be disastrous.

One thing I learned recently (and am still learning) is that God wants to give us what’s good for us. While we don’t absolutely need friends to live, we need them to thrive, and our Heavenly Father wants to see us thrive. He says “ask, and you will receive!” So many times I felt like it was up to me to make friends, but that’s not the case! When I finally realized that I had neglected to pray for friends, I asked God that He would help me out. As a result, He had me sign up for American Heritage Girl’s pen pal program and now I have an amazingly good friend, and another one I’m just starting to get to know.

Sometimes it will take doing something new, like trying out a different summer camp. I had gone to the same one for 5 years, but last summer I decided to try out a leadership camp instead. It was out of my comfort zone and I was nervous, but the friends I found there were totally worth it! It was a good reminder that there are other Daughters of the King out there and He will lead me to the friendships I need. The weight of making friends is not always on me (although love sometimes does still require work and effort). It was a huge burden off my shoulders when I realized that God cares about my friendships.

You may currently be on an island, but there is a way off! Pray and ask God what steps He wants you to take. Friends may not come right away–God might have you in the season of life you’re in right now in order to show you that He is sufficient. But don’t give up…God will open the right doors in His timing. If you remain in His Light and Love, sooner or later the floodgates of Heaven will open. It’s true about friends as well as so many other areas of life. Whatever you do, don’t buy the lie that the darkness is your home. God is calling you to step into His Light.

I wrote a song called “Not a Solo Girl” and I hope and pray that God uses it to remind you that you aren’t alone. I’ve put the lyrics down below. Keep returning to His throne and you will be blessed! You are deeply loved!

In Christ now and always,
~CoCo

Not a Solo Girl

Solo girl…I’m a solo girl
Solo girl…I’m a solo girl

I’ve built a life of me myself and I
No drama, no lies, nobody’s gotta see me cry
My messes are mine
Imperfections hurt every time
The secret’s safe inside if I’m alone
But deep inside every solo girl wants to be known
Somehow I’m at Your throne again
Hearing

You are not alone
I have found you
You’re not too outcaste
For me to use you
No matter what you’ve done or will do
You can call Me Father, You’re my daughter
That will never change
You’re not a solo girl
Look up
You have family all around the world

The devil’s good at selling his lies
No one sees, they don’t care, even if they did it’s no better there
It’s not worth being real when you can have your own highlight reel
There’s free façades and high-speed greatness here
You’ll do just fine on your own
But deep inside every solo girl wants to be known
Somehow I’m at Your throne again
Hearing

You are not alone
I have found you
You’re not too outcaste
For me to use you
No matter what you’ve done or will do
You can call Me Father, You’re my daughter
That will never change
You’re not a solo girl
Look up
You have family all around the world

When no one understands, I’m at Your throne again
When I’ve lost myself, I’m at Your throne again
When no one’s by my side, I’m at Your throne again
When the father of lies comes for me, I’m at Your throne again
When isolation locks my chains, I’m at Your throne again
When there’s no where else to be, I’m at Your throne
At Your throne again
Believing

I am not alone
You have found me
I’m not rejected
You still choose me
No matter what I’ve done or will do
I will call You Father, I’m Your daughter
That will never change
I’m not a solo girl
I have family all around the world

You’re not a solo girl
Never have been, never will be
Not a solo girl
You’re a daughter of the King
Not a solo girl
The Church is your family
Not a solo girl
It’ll always be you and Jesus