Hey y’all! Welcome to CoCo’s Chitchat!
I was originally planning on starting a new article series this week, but I sat down to write the first one last night and realized that it’s a much bigger topic than I had the time for. In order to do it justice, I decided to give myself more time to study the verses and think it through. Sooo… I thought I would share this with y’all instead!
It’s a flash fiction “story” that I wrote a couple weeks ago, based on 1 John 4:18. I got the inspiration for it on a Saturday night and was like, “I have to write this!!” so I got up early that Sunday morning and wrote the whole thing before church. XD Although, to be brutally honest with you, it’s more of a vent piece than a fiction story.
I meant it to be an encouragement to the Christian struggling with their identity and position in Christ, or maybe even to the unbeliever who hasn’t yet experienced the freedom of God’s forgiveness. Either way and whatever it means to you, I hope you find it encouraging. You are known in Christ!
By CoCo H.
I pace back and forth in my bedroom as I try to grasp exactly how I feel. I can’t help being scared—the secret remains no longer so. The beans have been spilled from east to west and I’m left wondering if they shall sprout if left alone, or if they shall rather be a nuisance to anyone passing by. What shall I say to people now that the window to my soul, door to my heart, and walls to my world are as compromised as they are?
I thank the Lord that it was my own tongue to have uttered the words—oh, how awful would it have been if it had been made known by foreign lips! I despise juicy gossip and distasteful rumors, especially when I myself am the victim of such things. But however it got out, the cat is scurrying—and thrashing, at that. What am I to do with myself?
My futile attempt to calm myself down has begun to tread a path in the carpet, and my mind is no better for it. I long for the day when confidence outweighs opinion; assurance overrides doubt; and undeniable truths surpass the lies told me by my own misgivings. But today is not that day. Today, where I stand in the eyes of the world, I know not. And I know not if the words that I so rashly spoke have betrayed my relationships or mysteriously strengthened them. The desire to know my standing is tempting, but the conversations that must take place to reveal such truths are quite the opposite. I’m not one for asking such raw opinion.
Nevertheless, the desire to know burns insatiably upon my heart and soul. It’s quite tiring to abide in fear and foreboding, and uncertainty is such a cruel tyrant over the heart of a young girl that I have to wonder what true freedom looks like. My post-secret debut is lined with seeds of remorse—far from the red carpet of my dreams. Shall my thoughts forever spiral round in circles? Shall my eyes never behold the leeward side of this mountain? Shall I be driven insane by my own fear of reality?
My heartbeat quickens and my palms grow sweaty.
Oh, what am I to do?
Just as I mentally reach the end of my rocker (physically, too, as I find myself at the end of my pacing circuit), a thought enters my mind by the doorway of grace. It’s one that should have always been there, yet was always allowed to slip. I welcome this refreshing thought with peaceful reverie, and before long it has taken a firm hold of my anxious mind. This thought is warm and comforting, like no other thought any human has ever dared think. It fills my heart to overflowing as I ponder its truth.
I take a seat under the window as I lift my eyes heavenward, eager to draw near to the Speaker of this breathtaking thought. I close my eyes, and the tears of a child coming home cascade down my cheeks. I remain silent as I wait for the Speaker to say something—new or old, it doesn’t matter—anything at all will do, as long as He is the One saying it. As I sit in the quiet, my heart erupts with praise and I repent of my wayward emotions while the Speaker repeats His truth:
You are known, and I have loved you from the start.
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.” ~1 John 4:18