I’ve grown up in a Christian home my entire life. I have no idea how old I was when I got personally saved, but I was most likely between the ages of 7 and 9. I was a believer long before that, but I couldn’t remember a specific time when I had prayed the sinner’s prayer, and I wanted to be 100% certain that I was saved. So I did it that night, alone in my bedroom. I didn’t experience anything miraculous or feel supernaturally filled. The only thing I felt was peace, knowing that my salvation was secure.
I started going to youth group a couple months before I turned twelve. That’s when my relationship with God started to get real. It didn’t happen right away, but over time the group has influenced me in ways I’ll never forget.
At the age of 13, I went to a camp that my youth group participates in every year. It was the best week of my life. The worship was so real and the messages were unlike anything I had ever heard. Coming from a small church with hardly any children, the hundreds of teenagers attending the camp was way better than I had ever known. The camp left me on the mountaintop and on fire for Jesus, ready for anything. But, as always happens, reality kicked in. The fire was quickly put out as I returned to my normal life.
In November of 2017, I decided that I was going to read the Bible throughout 2018. But, being the impatient person that I am, I didn’t wait until January 1st. I started it then. I established a good routine and was reading pretty much every day, but then the holidays came and completely destroyed my habits. It wasn’t until April when I went back to that camp that I reestablished those habits. Year 2 of that camp was even better than the first. It was amazing and eye-opening and inspiring and just beyond words. I came home on the mountain and on fire again, but this time—although I did descend the mountain a bit—I worked hard to keep the flame going.
I very recently went on a summer retreat with my youth group. It was almost the best week of my life—only the other camp is above it. The messages and small group discussions and just everything was so helpful. It was there that I wondered if maybe I could use my love of writing for more than just fiction, and where I got the idea to re-purpose my blog.
I had long been praying for God to show me Himself (ever since the April camp). I have a longing to hear Him audibly, to see a light—anything that reveals Himself. In the past couple of days, I have discovered God’s answer to those prayers. His answer is that I don’t need to see or hear something big to know that He’s there. There have been times when I open up my school hymnal to exactly the right page, or a twitch in my leg stops when I tell it to. I have come to realize that the way God speaks to me isn’t going to be in huge, miraculous ways—at least not yet. He speaks to me in the little things, and all I have to do is look for Him.
I am by no means a perfect Christian, or will I ever be. I am far from where I would like to be in my walk with Christ, but the important thing is that I’m getting there. I’m doing everything I can to get myself to that place. I’m closer to Him than I’ve ever been before, and my hope is that this blog will encourage others to get right with God as well.
Thank you so much for visiting and I hope you come back!
~Coco, August 17, 2018